This is Britney, Bitch?

Yes, I still listen to Britney Spears. The girl usually has some great producers and good tunes (especially to workout/dance to), if you ignore the fact that she can’t sing (anymore – she could when she was a little tike on MMC). Thus I couldn’t resist getting the Euro release of Femme Fatale in advance of the US date. And, well… let’s just say that it doesn’t surprise me this album is out in Europe before the US. It’s an album comprised of derivative Euro club pop, which is fine for grooving to, but is in no way an attempt at evolution for the lady B.
Even though I’ve been amused at what the ‘critics’ have seen as an evolution with her last couple albums (Circus and Blackout to be precise) which were also little more than Euro club pop, they at least explored some new territory for Britney and some of the tunes had decent lyrics -- and weren't overproduced to the point where you wonder who's actually singing. Femme Fatale already has two singles released, and where a third might be found on this album confounds me. (I might choose “Trouble For Me,” because not even Will.i.Am can save “Big Fat Bass.”)
I’m already a little concerned that GaGa is hitting the sophomore slump, and now it looks as though whatever creative team helped Britney power back through countless meltdowns and craziness finally just stopped caring. The beats are decent, the vocals are autotuned with a Cher mic to a scary degree, and the lyrics are even more ridiculous than some of the cheesiest tunes on …Baby One More Time.
There’s a nostalgic part of me that hopes someone will take pity on Britney and slap her back into being a good performer who has decent, obsessively catchy tunes, and maybe even a ballad or two on her next album. Then there’s a realist in me that thinks those people are now backing GaGa, Katy Perry, “Key Dollar-sign Ha,” and some new young thing we haven’t even heard of yet… and I’m actually going to miss Britney when she fades away. I just wish she could fade with a decent album first…


EDIT: As craptastic as this album is, I can't. stop. listening. This, ladies and gents, is the true Crackpower of Ms. Spears.