tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89863240216963266342024-02-19T05:56:43.498-08:00A Bit Fairy TaleBreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.comBlogger169125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-19836150893218514592015-08-09T13:17:00.002-07:002015-08-09T13:17:46.515-07:00Thankful WeekendIt's a bit hard to believe it's been almost six months since I wrote anything for this blog -- and yet not. The time has been spent in a whirlwind of unemployment, financial and personal panic, scrambling to find work and money and stave off depression, anxiety, and desperation (rather poorly), and finally, finding new employment. Though it is temporary, it's also full time, closer and better paying than my last job, and it's not for a soul-destroying company.<br />
There's things to like and dislike about it already, but as a friend said this week, (paraphrasing) every job has bullshit -- even when you're doing what you love there are parts of it that suck, that's why it's work, but it's good when you find something that isn't killing you while you're doing it.<br />
Also, while I still have multiple projects floating in the realm of not being done yet, I have done a lot of writing these past few months -- not as much as I intended, but when does that ever happen? Still, I managed to finalize an updated draft of the first novel I (co)wrote, submit for four fellowships in the space of a month (none of which it looks like I got, but have never submitted for any before, ever, it was still an accomplishment -- plus I drafted my first pilot and spec scripts), and win CampNaNoWriMo for the fist time -- coming away with more written for one story and another new on started.<br />
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So this morning I was thinking about how nice it is to have weekends back as something other than another day. Much as I'm not 100% behind the five day a week eight to nine (and sometimes more) hour work day grind, being unemployed for so long, the days really ran together and even when I tried to make myself stick to a schedule of keeping weekends as days of rest and rejuvenation, that rarely happened. Additionally, my never ending to-do list just kept overwhelming everything, not letting me enjoy most of the free time I tried to carve out for myself. In any event, I decided now is as good a time as any to offer up a list of things I'm thankful for having/doing this weekend as a reminder that weekends (and breaks in work routine in general), even when productive, should also be about spending time on things that bring you satisfactions and guide you to a more purposeful life outside of get up, work, come home, eat, try and relax, lather, rinse, repeat.<br />
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Finished (and generally) The Night Manager<br />
Started Mr. Mercedes<br />
Did all the household chores I set up for myself to do by noon Sunday... by noon Sunday<br />
Took the time to do my nails -- fingers and toes<br />
Grocery shopping at Trader Joes<br />
An easing up on the "OMG IT BURNS" weather pattern<br />
Packing up a friend's birthday gift for shipping after next payday<br />
Did a few simple sketches just to flex long-neglected drawing muscles<br />
Texted with a friend and basically decided to write a movie together<br />
Wrote a damn blog post<br />
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Not bad for a 'still adjusting to full time work and having weekends "free" again' period -- and I still have some hours left to enjoy...<br />
<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-47088088493261407272015-02-17T06:30:00.000-08:002015-02-17T11:39:20.185-08:0021 Things I Still Need to Remind Myself of... Even Past ThirtyLife is a learning process. Anyone who doesn't think this, who believes there's some magical age or point you reach where you know everything and have absorbed and retained all the knowledge you're capable of, is certifiable.<br />
However, as you get older, you do tend to think there are certain aspects of life you should know about, that are ingrained in your being, and there are even ones you do know but seem to need reminders of on an annoyingly frequent basis.<br />
These are some of mine...<br />
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1. You can just toast/eat half a bagel.<br />
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2. Few things will teach you as much about human nature than observing how others treat people in the service industry... and Shakespeare. That man knew people.<br />
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3. They stopped making your favorite journal five years ago. Accept it and stop hoarding other notebooks to fill that hole. WRITE. DOODLE. CREATE.<br />
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4. You are never going to regret having a pen or pencil with you -- unless it stains your clothes. So make sure you buy sturdy pens and handbags you love.<br />
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5. Making food for the week, writing, cleaning, yoga, and goal planning do not make a Lazy Sunday.<br />
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6. Lazy is not being present in your own life, and that of your loved ones.<br />
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7. Writers write. They also dance, cook, clean, sing, doodle, binge watch shows, play games, and sleep -- to avoid writing. And they <b><i>live</i></b>.<br />
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8. Unless it's crafted by scumbags or spreading hate/violence, never be ashamed of the music you love. If others judge you harshly on this, blast some goddamn Taylor Swift in their face and Shake It Off.<br />
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9. One day, your primary source of income will come from doing something you love. Until then, you do not have to hate your job. If you hate it and it's killing your soul -- quit. The universe will not let you become homeless.<br />
Also, if your coworkers aren't foodies, leave. Leave now.<br />
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10. People who are angry often want you to be angry, too. Misery loves company. Avoid temptation, slap on a smile, and laugh when they get angrier that you haven't absorbed their vitriol.<br />
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11. Your favorite shows and movies will change over time. So when you get a new fav, immerse yourself in it. Memorize it. Cherish it. And don't be sad when it's time to move on. <br />
This goes for friends, too.<br />
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12. Your sexuality and relationship history/goals are an important aspect of yourself. They are not your whole self. If you are being made to think they are, blast some Edith Piaf at those fuckers, drape yourself in a fabulous dressing gown, and float away. <br />
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13. Say "fuck." Go ahead. Do it. Did anyone die? Did you get slapped? If the answer to both questions is no, say "fuck" as much as you fucking want.<br />
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14. There is nothing better for your body and soul (or more rare), than a great fitting, comfortable pair of cute shoes. Don't be afraid to buy two pairs when you stumble on this miracle.<br />
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15. Read more. No matter what you read, or in what format, keep reading. It is never a waste of time. If you give something a chance and don't like it, grab something else. Just read.<br />
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16. If a trip to The Huntington won't cure it, a trip to Disneyland will (unless you're trying to cure the measles -- vaccinate, damnit). <br />
A message brought to those of you considering a membership or pass to your favorite places. Just do it. Get one. And don't wait for the 'best time' to go. Just go. Go when you need to, and leave when you're done, and return as much as you can.<br />
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17. Keep learning. Cooking, art, music, history, religions, languages, people. Learning any of these doesn't have to cost anything, so find the time.<br />
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18. Dishes, laundry, and basic household cleaning are a part of life. Unless you're a billionaire. Employ whatever methods necessary to do these things -- and reward yourself for doing them for as long as you need to.<br />
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19. Yoga. Just fucking do it. Don't worry about fat-burning hot yoga, or if you'll ever be able to do inversions, or that you have to modify poses due to injuries. Just let go and practice the damn yoga.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Life Goal: to be Nina Dobrev</td></tr>
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20. You made it this long not being someone entirely dependent on caffeine, or alcohol, or cigarettes, or drugs. Keep up that streak.<br />
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21. Step away from the screen. Computers, TV, phone, tablet -- whatever. Get up. Don't look at that temptress for at least 15 minutes. Walk around. Stretch. Snack. Make tea. Dance. Sing. Keep your eyes and mind on the tactile, the full body, the present. Breathe deep. Then return to the screen if you must, but always take breaks. Take breaks to live, work, play, cook, eat, drink, be merry, and dance.<br />
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BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-12072521492052973772015-02-09T10:40:00.000-08:002015-02-09T10:40:38.713-08:00An open letter to Tom Hiddleston, on this, his 34th birthday...You sir, are a gentleman and a marvel. Granted, I don’t know you personally, but from everything I’ve seen, neither of these terms is at all hyperbolic. There is not an interview, press tour, or red carpet segment I have seen where you are not engaged in the moment, and often prove yourself witty, charming, generous, and intelligent in a span of minutes. These flashes of your personality are snippets of a whole, greater individual that most people will likely never have the chance to know -- to see the moments where you are frustrated, grumpy, exhausted, melancholy, elated, surprised, boisterous, passionate, and the entire spectrum of human emotion coming from the being that is naturally you. However, what you have shown through the glimpses into yourself, there is a spirit there which speaks of a bright, energetic, intellectual optimist with a compassionate nature. <br />
Celebrity culture being what it is today, there is hardly a person who ascends into the ‘A-list’ who is exempt from having cameras shoved in their faces during ordinary, mundane times (often after a long day of work or travel). These cameras can come from paparazzi seeking a paycheck, an eager fan wanting a selfie, a flustered admirer wanting to congratulate you on your success and thank you for your talents in the most verbally obtuse way possible, or any number of other reasons (for crying out loud, Robert Downey Jr. posted an ‘article’ about himself today with the headline “RDJ holds receipt in mouth while carrying three bags” -- because this is information apparently we all need to know, according to the Daily Mail). However, the end message seems to be the same: once you reach a certain level of fame, your life is no longer entirely your own. There’s some unwritten notice some people receive that you are obliged to always be ‘on,’ always be available, cheerful, grateful for the attention, capable of satisfying anything from one person’s request to a throng of people queued up, all expecting individual attention. This type of expectation from others can lead to a lot of disappointment on the part of people who think they are owed your attention, and on their terms. It is regretful the number of people who act unkindly, or untoward, in these circumstances when their expectations and/or demands are not met. <br />
We’re not all like that.<br />
Some people out there still have a respect for individual privacy that may lead us to never interacting with our most admired individuals and celebrities. Not because we don’t crave that interaction, but because we don’t believe in forcing it on you -- because we understand your choice to interact with others should be on your terms, not ours. <br />
Should the opportunity ever present itself, few things would be as fulfilling to me as being able to sit down over coffee or a meal and chat with you about any number of subjects (admittedly, there’d probably be a fair amount of blathering about Loki and Shakespeare). Much like the proverbial ‘if you could have dinner with any person, living or dead’ question, anything more than this encounter would be icing on an exceptionally decadent cake. Even this I recognize as a pipe dream, despite my personal connections and career aspirations, because the universe doesn’t always rotate us in the same spheres as those we most admire. <br />
Thus, it seemed appropriate to give a little shout out of my appreciation, and rather than just a tweet or a fan letter, to just jot down a little blog -- it’s just my style. <br />
My personal hope is that you continue creating quality work that you love, embracing the better aspects that the life you have made for yourself offers, and understand (as I’m sure you do) that not everyone is watching and paying attention to you because you’re an incredibly attractive man who presents an openness and charm generally lacking in most of today’s celebrities. Your engaging, genuine charm is one facet of a fascinating individual, and hopefully one that you’ll continue to share, when it’s appropriate for you. <br />
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Also, have a fantastic birthday!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a gif-world, and we're all just living in it. I couldn't help myself.</td></tr>
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PS -- I never mentioned it above, but thank you for sharing your incredible talent with the world, and for taking all the chances necessary to dive into the modern world of acting and filmmaking. There wouldn’t be such a broad swath of opportunities to get glimpses into your life if it weren’t for your drive to succeed and some damn fine acting.BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-71257684789187514252015-02-03T07:33:00.000-08:002015-02-03T07:33:52.442-08:00Spitballed Shower Ideas -- Iron Man EditionI don’t pretend to be a comics expert. Honestly, my qualifier for such a term to bestow on anyone, with any subject, would put most ‘experts’ into the ‘I guess I know <i>some</i> stuff’ category. I’m definitely a novice with comics, particularly with immersing myself in the world. Too many alternate universes and reboots and timelines to keep track of, and really only a handful of characters I’ve found genuinely intriguing for more than an arc or two. <br />
** Deadpool being a notable exception. Every damn thing I’ve read with him I love. I love freaking everything about that warped little psycho mercenary. **<br />
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Yet I do like that comics reinvent themselves to change with the times. My own brief reading encounters with the Young Avengers, and second-generation Bat brats, have highlighted some of these changes. These comics brought out more diversity and opened up older characters to a new generation by giving them faces closer to their own in age, looks, and interests (even if none of us will grow to be master sorcerers or the next supreme archer assassin). <br />
Still, some notable longtime heroes are markedly without successors or pupils. <br />
Granted, do you really want a younger version of Logan? Oh, the angst. Let’s not.<br />
However, it occurred to me how odd it is that there’s no real successor yet for Tony Stark and Iron Man. In the age of the millennial, it seems more plausible than ever to have some cocky nineteen year old genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist running around. Some kid whose father is a European businessman (from Amsterdam or something) and mother is a push-to-over-achieve Asian woman (Indian or Japanese, possibly). A kid raised on worldwide culture in the age of the internet, who used his not insignificant allowance growing up to fund well-digging and Unicef missions in Africa. Who understands the value of giving back when you’re loaded, but still carries all the arrogance of a spoiled, rich, teenage genius. He blogs about social responsibility and takes selfies with the Jolie-Pitt clan, and funds medical research while absorbing information all the while. He creates and patents new desert irrigation systems, and works with NASA and Russian scientists on the concept of terraforming other planets. He also plays golf and polo, owns an animal sanctuary, and trains falcons. <br />
Yet he’s stuck in permanent brat mode. He’s brilliant, but incredibly arrogant and narcissistic. He secretly admires the Avengers and what they do, but would never admit it because it might finally break the cracks in his logic -- that in order to be successful you have to be ruthless, and in order to be a hero you have to be selfless. He can’t marry the idea of being a genius billionaire and a hero. <br />
Then, at some energy conference or whatever, he meets Tony Stark. He’s too full of himself to see Tony as a role model, but genius recognizes genius. They basically get into a philanthropic pissing contest, as Tony tries to impart on the kid how difficult it is to truly keep fighting the good fight for causes you claim to believe in if you never get your hands dirty -- literally. He challenges the kid to actually go to some of the villages he’s helped, and then to those he hasn’t. To visit hospitals where his research and funds have reached, and then military care centers where they haven’t. To literally walk a mile, or leagues, through areas untouched by technology and modernity as they both know it. <br />
At this last the kid relents, curious and challenging. He’ll do it, if Tony does, too. They’ll organize a trip, on foot, through a section of rural Asia. The first one to cave and ask to find a real city with a nice hotel has to give a million dollars each to Unicef, cancer and AIDS research, a military veterans and family fund, and the space program. Tony grudgingly agrees. <br />
They do make it a few weeks into the journey, learning a lot about each other, and life outside the bustle of the new millennium, and true charity. Of course Tony caves first, and the kid gives him hell for it. But once they’re settled in some swanky hotel in, like, Dubai, the kid admits he almost begged off the whole thing on day two and pledges to give money to the agreed causes as well. He then asks Tony what he plans to do when he can’t be Iron Man anymore. The out of the blue question floors Tony, and he barely has time to answer when he gets an emergency call. He takes the kid with him to Stark Tower and has him sit in on the meeting. Some crisis, need help, blah blah. Once everyone else is out of the room, Tony looks at the kid.<br />
“You really want to know what I’m going to do when I can’t do this anymore?”<br />
“Yeah.”<br />
Tony takes off his wrist cuff and slaps it on the kid. “Find someone new to do it.”<br />
Tony lets him in the suit for that mission, knowing it should be an easy one, and keeping control of the suit from Stark Tower virtually -- kind of like a driving instructor in a practice car. The kid is still shaky, but shows promise. He comes back wanting more, and Tony says no.<br />
“Not until you’ve had that ego broken a few times, kid. You need to lose, and lose big, as yourself, before you lose in that suit, with that title. Get your heart broken. Go actually dig some of those wells, or build some of those third-world hospitals. Understand what it is you fight for when you put on the suit, what you represent, and what it costs when you fail. I’ll call you back from time to time, check in on you, get you some practice rounds, but you don’t get to be Iron Man until you fuck everything up and rebuild it from the start.”<br />
“Is that really what you did?”<br />
“Yup. And don’t think that one experience of it kept me from doing it again. Even geniuses can be idiots, and the more arrogant you are, the harder your fall will be. Still, sometimes you need to run before you walk, and if your face slams into the ground, you pick yourself up and learn how to fly.”<br />
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Wouldn’t that be cool? BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-47561354634285820572014-09-08T20:14:00.000-07:002014-09-08T20:24:22.866-07:00No, really. All I want is to give a guy rapey thoughts about me in a Thor costume.So today, Marvel entertainment is having a big sale on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/b/?node=5021108011" target="_blank">Amazon</a>. Awesome, right? They’ve got toys and action figures and clothes for all. <br />
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Except when you click on women’s clothing, this is what you get.<br />
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Two suitcases, a pair of heels (for some reason I still don’t get) and five sexy superheros costumes. Five. And only one of them is for a female character (that’d be the last one: sexy lab girl, Gwen). <br />
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And the girls section? All costumes. For Black Widow, Spider Girl, and some of the male heroes (which are just boys’ costumes put in the girls’ category). Yeah, skin tight faux-leather catsuits for your five year old. Try sending her to school in that.<br />
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When sexism and misogyny in marketing and consumerism are discussed, this is <u>exactly</u> the kind of bullshit which exemplifies targeted anti-woman marketing. I don’t usually get on a gender podium, but this bothers the shit out of me. In an age where Marvel, a multi-billion dollar company who could hire whoever they want, market themselves however they want, who has fostered the development of amazing female characters in its films and comics, chooses to have the only available products on the number one online marketplace be tight-bodiced, short-skirted (likely poorly constructed) costumes of its male superheroes, it is literally screaming: WE DON’T WANT WOMEN IN OUR CLUB UNLESS THEY’RE SEX OBJECTS.<br />
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It may seem petty on a surface level, but what companies make commercially available to consumers has a direct effect on how that demographic is perceived. If you don’t make it, if you won’t sell it, we can’t buy it. So you use the excuse that girls don’t buy superhero merchandise unless its this incredibly sexist bullshit. That, in itself, is incredibly sexist bullshit. <br />
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Don’t tell me a Gamora or Nebula tee won’t sell when you won’t make one to test that theory. <br />
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Don’t tell people a Black Widow movie won’t make money when you won’t try making any female-led superhero film (since Elektra *weeps*), and when your Black Widow actress had a hit film this summer that basically involved her running around and being badass to a terrible hole-filled plot. People still came and it was pretty bad. Imagine if it were <i>really good</i>.<br />
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Don’t hide behind suits and corporate hullabaloo when it comes to shilling out merchandise. You want to know what consumers want? Try ASKING THEM. Try LISTENING TO THEM. Try <b><i>NOT PURPOSELY ALIENATING AT LEAST 50% OF YOUR POTENTIAL BUYERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE PENISES.</i></b>BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-90778405049769185422014-08-29T07:40:00.000-07:002014-08-29T07:40:52.799-07:00A Change is Gonna Come...OK, <a href="http://breebers.blogspot.com/2014/08/what-do-you-mean-no-one-cares-about-my.html" target="_blank">yesterday's pity party</a> over. I just needed to get that out of my system. <br />
A short while ago, I was directed to <a data-mce-href="http://99u.com/workbook/30901/tackle-your-passion-project-with-the-90-90-1-rule" href="http://99u.com/workbook/30901/tackle-your-passion-project-with-the-90-90-1-rule">this short post</a>
regarding committing the first 90 minutes of your 'work day' to your
passion project, for 90 days (allowing time for it to become habit,
rather than a challenge to be met). <br />
I started earlier this week
doing what I need to get more 'real job' ducks in their proverbial row. I
made it two days before I wanted to give up and cry. Because as
necessary as this process is, it's incredibly tiresome to repeat day in
and day out. However, the alternative (having my soul die bit by bit
every day I'm in this dead-end job) is worse. So while it may not be my
passion project, I'm not going to have passion for anything if I don't
change the manner in which I spend a 'work day.' And yet...<br />
After
three days of reassessing and editing resumes and cover letters,
submitting to new sites, applying for 30+ positions, I need a day off to
actually live up to the challenge and work on my passion project:
writing. As disorganized as my job search efforts had become, my writing
is in an even worse state. The chaos of life and other distractions has
left me with more unfinished projects and rough idea outlines of
projects-to-be than ever before. The act of just writing escapes me.
Planning and scheduling have become a joke, not for lack of desire or
commitment, but due to the overwhelming fear that to finish something
may only tick off that work as 'done' on a checklist and never go any
farther. <br />
I've become afraid of the force of my own imagination.
I've had my inner puppy kicked so many times it hides in the corner now
any time I call its name. The true point of the 'challenge' is to work
on your passions first, and the rest of the work later, and the truth is
I've been afraid to do so. There has to be a balance for me, in making
job searches a passion project of sorts to improve every aspect of my
life, not just the creative ones. However, spending too much time
focusing on everything that isn't writing is what put me in this
depressed slump in the first place. Thus, writing needs to be given
priority in this scenario. Now that my resumes are more in order and
I've joined more job sites, I'm relegating the job searches to two
days/week. The other days are for writing. Period. <br />
It's
been a tough week, but a productive one. If it's done anything, it's
exposed how easily I can focus on projects if given the freedom and
allowance to do it -- and how sometimes you have to give permission for
that freedom to yourself because you're the one holding you back.<br />
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BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-48506061888779546892014-08-28T11:31:00.000-07:002014-08-28T11:31:03.113-07:00What Do You Mean No One Cares About My Problems?Seriously. I'm awesome. At least I try to be. I work hard, especially doing the things I love. I even work hard doing things I don't love if they're necessary and/or I'm getting something useful from it. I may not work as hard, but my "getting by" with work is most people's excelling. That's not hyperbole, it's fact. If you look at my employment history, it's a clear cut distinction -- I work for you, I excel.<br />
Except I can't seem to parlay that excellence into the fields that actually drive me. I keep excelling at doing stuff to just get by instead of excelling at what I know I'm meant to pursue.<br />
But I forgot. No one cares. I'm one tiny speck of human dust among billions of other specks on this planet. Throwing pity parties for myself doesn't help me any more than it helps anyone else.<br />
The issue is, as little as anyone else cares about my problems, they care the exact same amount about my abilities, talents, experience, knowledge, drive, passion, etc. How do you make your voice louder than others when no one cares what's being said? How do you stand out from the crowd when your number in the queue prevents you from being seen even when squinting into the distance? How do you go from excelling in a career that makes you hate yourself to excelling in a life calling?<br />
Seriously, how?BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-29906216826646638812014-07-24T09:02:00.000-07:002014-07-24T09:02:55.032-07:0050 Shades of No Way in HellThere's a trailer out for <i>that </i>movie now... that movie based on a series of atrociously written books with derivative Twilight-esque plot which has done more for the bondage sex toy industry than any other piece of pop culture in years, while simultaneously flaunting a horribly abusive relationship as healthy, sexy, and desirable.<br />
So yeah, I'm biased. There was a part of me, however, my own masochistic-for-terrible-things side if you will, which thought that maybe, someday, I'd sit myself down and watch this atrocity. Once it's out on streaming/DVD of course, where the drinks are plenty, the pause button at the ready for vomit-inducing moments, and there is a decided lack of horny housewives surrounding me. Then I saw Jamie Dornan in <i>The Fall</i>.<br />
For those unaware, <i>The Fall</i> is a Netflix series starring Gillian Anderson as a detective who comes to Belfast from England to run an internal/external investigation on the police force and, particularly, a murder inquiry regarding a young woman. The one young woman turns into several by the end of the series, all fitting a distinct aesthetic the killer finds appealing. That killer is Jamie Dornan, and in a rare turn for what could be an extended storyline for a basic procedural, it isn't just the view of the cops we get. We see the killer in his everyday life, as a grief counselor for parents of children who have died in tragic circumstances. We see him at home with his wife, a nurse, and young son and (quite possibly burgeoning psychopathic) daughter. We see him running, stalking, breaking into victims homes, fantasizing about them, and you know, eventually killing them. We see the aftermath; we see his family and his marriage crumbling. We see him nearly kill the babysitter when she finds a token from one of his kills (and her skin-crawling attraction to him even after this incident). We see him wink knowingly at his creepy daughter when she asks if they're driving past a murder scene. We see him as a fully fledged person, and as a killer. It's unsettling to say the least and genuinely terrifying at times. And it is masterfully done. This is all eerily similar to the kind of guy Christian Grey would be in real life (sans the obscene amount of money) as opposed to the demented fairy tale version that appears in print and, likely, on screen.<br />
The first look we have of Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey in the trailer holds that same intensity and predatory look he gets when he's getting ready to murder women -- women who look eerily like the "50 Shades" girl, Ana. <br />
<br />
This is my plea to women everywhere: If you still think the idea of Christian Grey is sexy and desirable, if you think having your own uncertainty ignored in favor of a man taking control of you and 'teaching' you to be his object is a positive portrayal of relationships, even if you just think the idea of a little bondage and fetishism in a mainstream movie is naughty in a good way, before you see <i>50 Shades of Grey</i>, or pick up one of those books again, watch <i>The Fall</i>. Really watch it. Pay attention to how this man acts in public and in private. You may still see something appealing in Christian Grey afterwards, but hopefully at least some part of your brain will register the difference between poorly- written fantasy and a more grounded portrayal of what control-hungry men are really like. BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-45293465007573173742014-07-15T10:41:00.000-07:002014-07-15T10:41:02.744-07:00Weirdus InterruptusToday's standard post will be replaced by the new "Weird Al" video, because... well. He kind of says it all.<br />
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<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-50816708197544931482014-07-02T07:34:00.001-07:002014-07-02T07:34:24.725-07:00Haunted by the SignsOne of these days I'll stop harping on about life's little (or not so little) signs and get on to more exciting things like anti-hero worship, purple shirts of sex, hand porn, netflixing your time away and more (really, I have a list). However, the reason for my day skip in posting schedule happened because I was a bit taken aback by something that occurred yesterday.<br />
Understatement -- I came thiiiiiiis close to having a mini breakdown.<br />
See, it's all well and good when you're on the lookout for signs during life, and when you're getting encouraging nudges to certain things. It's kind of empowering to feel like your current situation of being trapped in a soul-sucking job that barely pays your bills is not the right choice for you, because YOU say it isn't, and life is encouraging you in fits and starts to seek out other possibilities.<br />
It's not so refreshing when the universe slaps you in the face with just how out of place you are.<br />
Imagine you're living in a home and the home is, potentially, haunted. You feel uneasy there. Just being in that environment drains you. It's kind of a nebulous feeling and you're constantly uncomfortable and stressed. Occasionally the furniture rearranges itself and you're deeply unsettled, but you take the oddly stacked chairs off the table and move on with your day. You can't afford to move, but you're looking at other places nonetheless. You're trying to make a plan of escape, but it might take awhile. Then, one morning, out of the blue, you hear a voice. You don't just hear it, there's an apparition with it. A spectral presence with only slight transparency comes right up to you, inches from your face, looks you right in the eye, and says, "GET OUT."<br />
That, in essence is what happened to me yesterday. At my job.<br />
Needless to say I didn't need any coffee after that encounter -- I was shocked into alertness. And then I panicked. And then I got angry. And then I tried to once again look at the wreckage this poltergeist has made of my life and tried to put some logical reasoning in place. There was a fair amount of denial and bargaining internally with what I saw and heard. So by the end of the day I wasn't good for much beyond going home, facebooking, twittering, and Netflixing.<br />
Today is a new day, however. The presence has made itself known loud and clear and I don't intend to ignore it. I'm getting out. Soon.<br />
But I'm still going to do it on my terms -- no matter how many times you rearrange my furniture or drag me towards the abyss of the TV.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Please don't kill me giant demon, I wanna be in the sequel!</td></tr>
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<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-5314197848591736482014-06-24T09:17:00.002-07:002014-06-24T09:17:57.597-07:00Following Some SignsI once <a href="http://breebers.blogspot.com/2012/06/lifes-road-signs.html" target="_blank">wrote a post</a> about there being no map for life, no real signposts that tell you where to go, what to do, how to adult, or why schools don't teach practical skills along with other 'necessary' knowledge. While I still hold to that, and the concept of needing to learn how to read and follow your own life because it will always differ from everyone else's life on the planet, I do acknowledge that sometimes the universe sends you tiny messages sprinkled across time to somehow encourage or discourage certain courses. The key is you have to be open to receiving those messages, and you have to be in a constant state of observation regarding yourself and your life -- a thing which is not easy to maintain.<br />
However, sometimes those little messages don't bother with much subtlety. Sometimes the signs aren't a leaf blowing past you on a cool morning, making you think of times past and inspiring you to start a story you've been mulling over for months. Sometimes the signs are someone walking in the door and saying, "I had coffee with someone today who's looking to fill a position and you should write to them now. Right now." Sometimes you're contemplating your current structure and if it's working, and if your deadlines are realistic, and if you're too overwhelmed with projects, and then a string of online articles across various social media slaps you in the face with tips you didn't even know you wanted and you surmise, for a few brief moments, that The Universe is supporting you in a very small way.<br />
And sometimes you're not in the mood to write a blog post because the list of ideas you have for posts just isn't speaking to you today, and then you become inspired anyway because of life's little road signs.<br />
For this moment, right now, something in The Universe seems to be pushing me ahead down a path. Not sure what the path is exactly, or where it leads, or how long it'll take to reach a destination, but I'm open to pursuing it, and sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other and keeping an eye on the world around you is the best you can do.<br />
Well, that and sending your resume off immediately when someone tells you to.<br />
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<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-38818866103981720552014-06-17T20:33:00.000-07:002014-06-17T20:33:07.805-07:00Only 41(ish) weeks until my next fix...And I do mean fix. Like a drug. A horrible, abusive drug that I wish I could quit because the highs it used to bring me have dwindled to a scene or two per episode while I spend the rest of the time reaching my hands toward my television, repeating in agonized tones, "What the hell is going on? What are you doooooiiiing?!?"<br />
This, is "Game of Thrones" withdrawal for an avid reader of <i>A Song of Ice and Fire</i>.<br />
Full disclosure, I've only read through the entire series twice. I have read <i>A Game of Thrones</i> and <i>A Clash of Kings</i> three times now, and the Dunk & Egg tales thrice as well. I'm aware there are people who have read these books far more than I have (most of these wonderful people helped create and maintain sites like <a href="http://towerofthehand.com/" target="_blank">Tower of the Hand</a> and the <a href="http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Main_Page" target="_blank">ASOIaF wiki</a>) -- there's also a ton of people who don't reach my level of knowledge on book lore. I'm not here to school you all on that, and risk lots of spoilers in the process. I'm here to talk about addiction to something you know is not going to satisfy you.<br />
They got their claws in fast and deep, HBO did. They crafted the first season of this show in such a way as to allow both the newly initiated and the casual reader to view and enjoy without innumerable changes to the source material. Then came season two, and the eyebrows started to rise. Then came season three, where some sequences lulled you into a false sense of believing things might even out again while somewhere in the back of your mind you knew this wouldn't be possible. Then season four... and not only are you wondering if you've even read the same books as the show's creators, you're questioning your sanity. Because as much as you rant and rail and are constantly appalled by the character assassinations and rapes (both literal and figurative) in the show, you keep watching -- not because you're invested. No. You're addicted, and that is far worse. It's worse because you know in your moments of lucidity that all the joy you once felt has turned into morbid curiosity about which one or two scenes they might get right in this episode. The anticipatory rush you feel when Sunday rolls around turns into rocking on your heels in the corner, staring at a clock until the hour arrives for you to jack in to your viewing.<br />
The magic and wonder has been replaced with an empty, aching need, accompanied after viewing by a hunger for something better, something more deserving of your passionate pleas for great storytelling and dynamic characters and motherfucking ice zombies who are just ice zombies with no explanation of where they come from or what they want beyond the destruction of humanity. Yet this is all you have. You don't have the show, the show has you -- and you know it always will. So you grumble, you sigh, and you set up your countdown widget until next season, absentmindedly tapping veins in your arm every Sunday evening until your drug feeds you again. Winter is coming, but not for a long while...<br />
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<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-34274819149604425282014-06-15T17:45:00.000-07:002014-06-15T17:45:18.895-07:00The Blog Has RisenWhenever I return to a blog after a long absence, I feel the need for two things:<br />
1) To exclaim, "I'm not dead yet," like that plucky old man in <i>Monty Python and the Holy Grail.</i><br />
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2) To offer up explanations for my absence, even if no one cares because I feel obligated to give reasons for what really comes down to either: I've been busy and told myself doing this blog wasn't productive (which is a lie), or I've been caught up in my own mind in a manner that kept me from doing what I want and need to do in favor of engaging that monster of Depression and letting it win for a while (which is very true, and not an excuse, but a reason -- sadly).<br />
<br />
What really matters is that I'm back, and to anyone still paying attention to my little corner of the internet, thanks for sticking around. I've got a plan and a schedule to resume posts shortly (as in this week), so tell your friends (internet or IRL ones, or both) to watch this space for updates soon.BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-10746612068564213892014-02-06T15:09:00.000-08:002014-02-06T15:09:12.668-08:00In Olympic Russia, Hotel Checks You<b><u>Expectation</u></b>:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a bit modernist, but seems stable -- what could go wrong?</td></tr>
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<b><u>Reality</u></b>:<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/sochi-hotel-water.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/sochi-hotel-water.png" height="400" width="386" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, well, that's not good. Probably an isolated incident...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Erm...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WHAT.</td></tr>
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<br />
Unless you've somehow put a block on anything Olympics-related, you've probably seen those 'reality' images seventy times over by now. As if the socio-political aspects of this year's games wasn't contaminated enough by a government vocally bashing a not-small portion of humanity there's, well, contaminated water, open manhole covers, floor-less lobbies, and a sense of unfinished-ness permeating Sochi -- and the games have only just started.<br />
Now, Russia is generally a winter-sports wonderland, but if the infrastructure of the host city is this unprepared for just the sheer number of people coming for the games, it really raises questions about their preparedness for the games themselves. Are the halfpipes structurally stable? Are the slopes maintained well enough? Are the speed skating tracks even?<br />
And who the hell was in charge of maintaining the construction schedule for the press, visitor, and athlete hotels?<br />
<br />
I'm not boycotting watching this year's games, for many reasons, the foundation of which is I want to support the athletes who have spent their whole lives working toward these games. There are new events and new Olympians mixed in with the classic games and seasoned athletes. These people are what the games are about, not the ridiculous, homophobic, misguided government backing these games, not the already ludicrous accommodations and state of the host city, not the pomp and circumstance of the opening ceremonies, but the actual people participating. The athletes are what I care about. They're what I've always cared about.<br />
You choose to boycott these games, for whatever reason, that's fine. Personal choices, not going to judge. Just remember: however these games play out over the next two weeks, the more focus given to the participants' achievements and how everyone going to Russia overcomes the obvious issues present there, the better we all will be as people.<br />
<br />
That being said, calling out governments and officials on horrendous lack of planning, structuring, organization and implementation in <i>any</i> endeavour is not unwarranted. The more social media advances, the more opportunity we have to showcase these flaws not just at the Olympics, but any time, anywhere -- not through assumptions and false accusations, but through simple evidence. If nothing else, hopefully these Olympics will show some leaders that not all their inadequacies can be brushed aside using money and/or force, from the country level down through the smallest company.<br />
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go draft my Olympic viewing schedule from the comfort of my fully plumbed, entirely floored room.<br />
<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-6070506855912376832014-01-30T14:30:00.000-08:002014-01-30T14:30:18.075-08:00Put a Stake In It, PLEASEIt’s over! It’s finally over! It’s over for good!<br />
Wait, maybe not? Oh, Renfield save me…<br />
<br />
Previously, I talked a bit about what prevented me from doing weekly recaps of <i>Dracula</i>, and it basically came down to how appalling the series became, and so quickly, both in terms of predictable tropes and character assassination. <br />
Here’s the thing, though. I can move past the predictability and utter nonsense that was the plot of this series -- and only because I’ve become so jaded and cynical in my belief that no one cares about even trying to be original anymore; it’s all a facade, this trend of doing a ‘new twist’ on classics in an attempt to make something seem more 'original' than 'adaptation.' Except it’s not original when you simply borrow from other sources and mash things together. It’s like trying to fit puzzle pieces of different puzzles together and expecting a full picture. But I digress. I’ve become accustomed to this approach, so that part I can get over...ish.<br />
What really astounds me (and confuses me on the part of people who actually seem to like the show) is how the creators of the show gave the audience a swath of characters who are all narcissistic, immature, bitchfacey douchewads with no ability to act like mature, responsible, compassionate adults for more than an episode. By the end of the series every single main character, with the possible exception of Renfield, is deplorable. There’s no one to root for, unless you enjoy rooting for self-involved sycophants and whiner babies. <br />
(Granted, Dracula isn’t the only show with characters like this, but it is the most heavily populated…)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's difficult to find vampires more narcissistic than <i>The Originals</i> family, but <i>Dracula </i>made ALL its characters as bad as they are...</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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These characters are taken from a novel wherein there is one wretched, narcissistic jerkface. Just one. And despite the fact that said novel is named for him, he’s not actually in the book a whole lot. This is where my righteous indignation over character assassination shades into outright fury. Not only did you do a mash-up of other stories to craft your plot for the season, rather than maintain any semblance of paying homage to the source material, you also managed to completely mangle every single main character. Not just mangle by giving them attributes and/or flaws and/or character arcs that have nothing to do with how they’re actually written, but turn them into genuinely dislikable people. All of them. <br />
<s>I’m just glad Qunicey was nowhere to be found in this show.</s><br />
If the series does get renewed, it’ll be interesting to see how they move forward with these characters. And by ‘interesting’ I mean ‘good luck getting any of your audience to give a crap about anyone,’ because there’s a difference between having characters that are flawed and make bad choices, and just having a group of blundering assholes.<br />
<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-53832058644027358942014-01-12T12:52:00.001-08:002014-01-12T12:52:14.128-08:00Dracu-zzzzSo back in October, I intended to chronicle my MST3K-esque journey watching <i>Dracula</i>.<br />
Unfortunately life (and NaNoWriMo) intervened for a little while, and while I do have recaps of episodes 2 and 3, by the time I got to episode 4, a disturbing trend emerged (and no, I'm not talking about the continued character assassination of every canonical individual, which is still happening). The trend became this:<br />
Character A does something to or for Character B.<br />
Character B turns into a whiny bitch about it.<br />
Character A apologizes, makes amends, or turns into a whiny little bitch, too.<br />
Lather, rinse, repeat.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/794e5cafb926f46d7fb6101c16efc499/tumblr_mwblhuD8RW1rc8dgoo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/794e5cafb926f46d7fb6101c16efc499/tumblr_mwblhuD8RW1rc8dgoo1_500.gif" height="223" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just sit and mope with me, Renfield. I'm too emo to do anything productive.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
We're now just past episode 8, and this is still happening. More than global energy subplots involving mysterious sociopolitical/religious orders and tragic pasts, more than the hunt for Dracula (Vlad Tepes, Vlad the Impaler, who we have to repeat all three titles every time we mention his name in case someone didn't know who he was) by a clandestine society of rich white guys who get a woman to do all their heavy duty fighting, more than the potentially emotionally engrossing story of young people exploring their feelings, desires, and sexuality in a healthy, honest way, the show has pretty much turned into a (really bad) soap opera with a vampire. And Dracula is pretty much the king of whiny, bitchy, tantrum-throwing moments.<br />
It's really difficult to even feign interest in a series when every character is horrendously unlikable -- and not because they're wicked or evil or devious, but because they're selfish, whiny, assholes incapable of behaving like rational adults for more than a single episode arc. If I wanted to watch crappy daytime TV I'd watch crappy daytime TV. Don't try and feed me that swill on primetime network television and act like I'm supposed to think it's engaging.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/39941a5971f13956086565ccd6eb9261/tumblr_mwexcjJ13Z1qfx3hdo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/39941a5971f13956086565ccd6eb9261/tumblr_mwexcjJ13Z1qfx3hdo1_500.gif" height="200" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Once you have sex with Mina, will you get rid of the ascot and ridiculous facial hair?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Aaaaaand that is why my next post is going to be dedicated to the complete opposite of <i>Dracula</i>: the utter magnificence that is <i>Sherlock</i> (whose main character is frequently a selfish, whiny, asshole... and yet you love him).BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-62702217056376546832013-10-26T21:17:00.000-07:002013-10-26T21:24:04.184-07:00Dracu-ugh (Episode 1)<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alright. Now that I’ve sobered up from downing an entire bottle of wine in the span of an hour during the initial broadcast of the Dracula premiere, let’s get a bit more specific as to the reasons which caused me to consume an absurd amount of alcohol in such a short time frame. </span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-0-50f075-f7f3-9042-f54e-ffc11d64c6ff" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We open with a couple of dudes seemingly Indiana Jones-ing their way into a crypt in Romania in 1881. As any logical person knows, things entombed in crypts this difficult to get to (and with bodies in caskets that have spikes driven through them) were buried so that no one would open them. People in vampire stories -- not logical. Also, not reliable as business partners as it’s only a moment until one of them is getting their throat slashed to awaken our Big Bad Vampire Daddy, and we have the first misinterpretation of a quote from the book, “The blood is the life.”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cue transformation of stabnated corpse into Bloodface Rhys-Meyers… which quickly cuts to bathing, shirtless, dripping, sexy JRM surrounded by candles and by this point I assume the creators are hoping the female viewership just gave up caring about anything else other than gazing at tasty manflesh. His dressing is filmed like a Jaguar commercial -- close-up highlighted body parts and tailoring. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/2520a9417630c0fee790ea8b0fb168c1/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno6_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/2520a9417630c0fee790ea8b0fb168c1/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno6_250.gif" /></a> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/8465ef0677514dd03d4e029c89d12d7c/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno4_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/8465ef0677514dd03d4e029c89d12d7c/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno4_250.gif" /></a> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/2054bc55694f660478e94d883345d654/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno1_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/2054bc55694f660478e94d883345d654/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno1_250.gif" /></a> </span></div>
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/ee7f05bccf5bae5c0feb25329b824533/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno2_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/ee7f05bccf5bae5c0feb25329b824533/tumblr_mv9ahhNRVU1rt5ctno2_250.gif" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finally the costume porn spell is broken by Dracula speaking to Renfield, presumably acting as a creepy voyeur butler to this costume erotica. (Also, I’m only going to say this once: changing up Renfield’s race to still make him Dracula’s bitch is not culturally inclusive. It is straight up racist.) Dracula casually asks Renfield if all his guests will be photographed on entrance as requested, as though we’re supposed to think that’s deviant yet acceptably weird. It’s not. It’s creepy -- and not in an ‘I vahnt to suck their blood’ way. In a ‘I’m planning who to systematically destroy based on their appearance -- kind of like Hitler’ way. There is a talk of a demonstration, then a casual jab at 1896 Americana as Renfield exits and Dracula ‘eases’ into his slightly Southern, slightly Midwest, slightly off American accent and introduces himself to… himself, as Alexander Grayson.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cue carriages, grandeur, and ballroom dancing as we’re introduced to the young trio of Mina, Jonathan, and Lucy. Neither girl is wearing a dress even remotely era-appropriate and obviously designed to make them stand out. Lucy is immediately set up as vain, petty, flippant, condescending, and man-crazy. So there’s an immediate character assassination (and I think at this point I finished my second glass of wine).* </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jonathan and Mina express their disdain to each other at being brought to a fancy event where the likes of a journalist and scientist-in-training aren’t likely to find anything in common with the obscenely rich. Especially since the rich in this time period have more propriety than to kiss their not-yet-fiancees in public.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And yet, don’t think that Jonathan and Mina’s poo-poo-ing of the grandeur is only middle-class jealousy. The wealthy aristocracy, business barons, and their nose-up ladies are all a-chatter about how obscene this very American display of wealth is. They’re even surprised so many have come to this ridiculously decadent event… except it’s 1896 in London and at this point the city may as well have been renamed Decadence Central.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Renfield appears on the stairs to introduce the master of Carfax Manor (I hear the creators giggling at their clever book insert), mister Alexander Grayson. While everyone may think he’s an eccentric American making an obscene display of his wealth, that won’t stop them from clapping enthusiastically at his appearance. He saunters down some stairs, takes a cocktail, and then sees Mina. And the world around him disappears. And Mina senses it, too. And I sense a sudden urge to violently hurl my laptop out the window. There’s a flashback or flashforward or insight into their mind-melding or some ridiculous overly-romantic bullshit sequence of them cuddling and caressing in bed before we’re snapped back to the now, and I’m about to snap some writer’s neck.</span></div>
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/be0f704d29e13aa1492d49b3904f4eb5/tumblr_mtp1q9mNFr1sa3xb7o4_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/be0f704d29e13aa1492d49b3904f4eb5/tumblr_mtp1q9mNFr1sa3xb7o4_500.gif" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We mangle Dracula’s initial greeting to ‘fit’ a roomful of people, and yet when his little moment is done, he goes back to staring at Mina. Like no one’s going to notice that. Oh, but wait. Lucy does. And so does Jonathan. And so does Mina. But does Alexula stop there? Nope, he saunters right over to Renfield and demands he find out everything about her and Jonathan.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexula’s first official introduction is to a woman named Jayne Weatherby, whose hair color is impossibly blonde, and eyebrows impossibly shaped. With her is her ‘friend’ Herr Kruger, who Alexula basically insults as a mask to hide that he probably hates continental Europeans with Germanic last names for reasons only someone who knows about vampire lore would gather.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexula then makes directly for some imperialist business-lords who chair a company he would like to obtain patents from. Stunned by his blatant talk of business in front of women, Alexula is shot down and his American status insulted. They leave him and we get the first shot of Alexula’s “I’m going to slaughter some bitches tonight” face.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jonathan’s been observing this little moment and strolls up to offer Alexula some advice and dirt on the insulting lord, and is then joined by Mina. Alexula introduces himself to Jonathan, who introduces Alexula to Mina who is now gaping at Alexula like most female reporters currently gape at Tom Hiddleston (which I would, too, in their position). </span></div>
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<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/dccc835ef203d6ba28de227f24a4a6f0/tumblr_mlihpoVp7q1ra8x1ao1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" height="167" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/dccc835ef203d6ba28de227f24a4a6f0/tumblr_mlihpoVp7q1ra8x1ao1_500.gif" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mina apologizes for her behaviour by starting to say she thinks they’ve met before, but Alexula finishes that thought for her. Which is, you know, a pretty creepy thing to hear from a guy you’re just meeting even if he does look like JRM. Renfield cockblocks further interaction (as I have a feeling will become habit with him) by telling his master “It’s time.”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Somehow in the ninety seconds that have elapsed, Renfield has found out Jonathan’s name, job, leading traits, and boxing schedule for the month, as well as Mina’s name, lineage, degree program, favorite color, and status as a Byron fangirl.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A dramatic boom enters the music, as does OMG BEN MILES ILY SO MUCH! (I’m sorry, but I tend to fangirl horribly over any cast member from </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Coupling</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">). </span></span></div>
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<a href="http://i.imgur.com/HBOid5u.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" src="http://i.imgur.com/HBOid5u.gif" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He and his immaculately coiffed hair observe the same lords and ladies Alexula did, but before we can find out any more about him, Renfield announces it is time for the demonstration. He then saunters down to Jonathan and while initially chiding him for being a member of the press at a strictly no-press event, he quickly recovers by offering him an exclusive interview with Alexula, tomorrow, at the house, alone, no garlic necklaces allowed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now it’s time for the demonstration as Alexula hands out lightbulbs during a speech about the dark ages, war, and how not-evolved we still are, but may be with the help of his new invention -- magnetic power that can provide wireless electricity. Somewhere deep beneath the manor (one assumes), stage one is begun with lots of shouting men and steam and levers being thrown (because that’s how you dramatic science). The business-lords, now joined by Patrick Maitland (I’m sorry, but that’s what you get when you’re Ben Miles), are instantly concerned for their petroleum interests, but Patrick tells them not to worry. Meanwhile, nothing is happening yet, so to stage two we must go. More steam, more yelling, more levers. Then, like magic, Mina’s light bulb alights first. Then another, then another, then the room. Alexula gives his best maniacal laugh, but everyone is so awed by the lights that apparently I’m the only one who notices how creepy and over-the-top his reaction is. However, after a few seconds, things start to go wrong downstairs. Sparks are flying, men are getting zapped from a Tesla-coil-esque machine, and demented doubles of Hugh Jackman start appearing. The foreman requests to cut the power, but Alexula, through Renfield, demands a few more seconds to revel. So a couple more explosions happen and the coolant expels itself all over until the foreman does the intelligent thing and shuts everything off.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexula soothes the disappointed crowd by making a horrible pun with a long pause. He makes a beeline back to Mina but Lucy thrusts her hand out and introduces herself before he can flirt. Alexula chats to each of them in turn, and pretty much leaves them all enthralled. Jonathan notes that he seems quite taken with Mina, and Lucy is quick to second his assessment, while still being petty and insulting. Then she’s off for cordials. (Seriously, can we please stop making Lucy into a petulant debutante?)</span></div>
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<a href="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/35700000/Lucy-Westenra-dracula-nbc-35774644-245-170.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"></span></a></div>
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<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9c23fe58fb42521f86343e02364e9d32/tumblr_mva6v66I0B1ri23yqo2_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9c23fe58fb42521f86343e02364e9d32/tumblr_mva6v66I0B1ri23yqo2_250.gif" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The mysterious Lady Jayne slinks around a corner behind Dracula and comments on his extraordinary display, and his immediate retort is that he didn’t hear her approach -- and yet I heard the distinct sound of a heel hitting stone, so Alexula’s obviously deaf, as are the sound mixers. They walk, they insult-flirt, she invites him to the opera so he can get into her box… yes, really. Did I mention this woman is wearing a feathered choker? She departs and we get Alexula’s “I think I’ll sex that one before I kill her” face.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The ball ends with vague threats from one of the business-lords, and if you didn’t see the blinking ‘dead meat’ sign over his head, the music and Alexula’s expression should have clued you in.</span></div>
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<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/76e98fc0bdbfc2833110aceb7d027254/tumblr_mv8u9uKd7w1rc8dgoo1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/76e98fc0bdbfc2833110aceb7d027254/tumblr_mv8u9uKd7w1rc8dgoo1_400.gif" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jonathan is typing with his photo of Mina beside his typewriter. His accented-roomie schools him to ask for Mina’s hand before someone else does, which segues directly into Mina and Lucy’s slumber party where Lucy is taunting Mina about the weirdo American leering at her, and yet seems to hold him in a better light than Jonathan whose biggest character flaw is being ‘boring.’ (And I want to cry with rage.) Mina begs Lucy to talk about something other than her dislike of Jonathan. Then there’s a random ‘whooshing’ sound that apparently all of London hears, except the drunk soon-to-be-dead lord, who gets yanked away from his doorstep and whose arterial spray splashes artfully on his numbered pillar.</span></div>
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<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/fe034f662f896d14a25b4ac4193b585a/tumblr_mv9csxEP0m1rt5ctno3_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/fe034f662f896d14a25b4ac4193b585a/tumblr_mv9csxEP0m1rt5ctno3_250.gif" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexula justifies to Renfield ripping the man apart basically because he was rude (I think we just found Hannibal’s bff) as Renfield tosses the lord’s photo into the fireplace. Now we’re on to discussing Alexula’s plans to destroy the corrupt and powerful and entitled Order of the Dragon. The crux of it is they’re an elitist war council that murders, pillages, rapes, degrades in the name of… we’re not really told. Basically Alexula is planning a holy war against a group that engages in their own nebulous holy war. It’s really convoluted because it tries to both entangle itself with the actual Order of the Dragon while muddling everything that had to do with the actual Order’s real purpose -- especially the fact that the main inspiration for Dracula was a member of this Order, as were other members of his family. And let’s not forget the burning of peasants flashback. Alexula’s big plan however, is to stop their reign by directing the future of world power from petroleum to magnetic, and, you know, killing every member he can sink his fangs into.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At this point I’m drunk, angry, frustrated, and wondering how such perfect portraits of every person entering that party were taken.</span></div>
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<a href="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbc1jkCghA1ruoeav.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbc1jkCghA1ruoeav.gif" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s a foggy night in London town, and the dead lord’s house is being broken into by the Herr and his neck checked for signs of bite marks. Rather than make a thorough home exam, Kruger cuts off the lord’s head, carries it in a hatbox through town, and drops it off to Lady Jayne. Because obviously no one’s opening that man’s coffin again and won’t notice his head’s gone…</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lady Jayne brings the head to Patrick, all stuffed with garlic, onions, and sage, ready for roasting on a spit. There’s talk of the last time a vampire ravaged London and they had to cover it up -- 1888, which, for those not in the know, they illuminate us was the year of Jack the Ripper. Yup. The Ripper was a vampire. Because THAT’S original…</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They decide to put Kruger on patrol to watch over the other business-council-lords, so long as, Patrick stipulates, no one knows he’s around -- because unexpected Germans make Brits nervous for some reason… (too soon?) And the official explanation for ‘unexplained’ death? Dog attack.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We enter a classroom where students are learning science via reading the tabloids. Mina covers for her male chatterboxes to their professor for reasons I don’t pretend to understand.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Meanwhile, Jonathan is waiting for Alexula and opens a giant shutter where sunlight then streams in. Alexula arrives and Jonathan extends a hand to shake, directly into the beam of light. Alexula hesitates, then gives a firm shake and gestures Jonathan to a chair. Alexula turns away to get a drink, and we see his hand is burnt. (At this point I am a) infuriated that Dracula is not sun-resistant and b) questioning his rationale in picking the house, room, and time of day to meet Jonathan knowing full well he could burst into flame.)</span></div>
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/8f72ac3023e8110208bd772f2a18c75a/tumblr_mv9jvqfswD1r754dro1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" height="134" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/8f72ac3023e8110208bd772f2a18c75a/tumblr_mv9jvqfswD1r754dro1_500.gif" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After Alexula casually pushes his chair out of direct sunlight, they have an interesting chat about why Alexula is here and the basic message is that Alexula is claiming to look out for the future of humanity by encouraging scientific developments while acknowledging his lineage as a member of the ‘old world’ privileged class. And while this is totally out of canon character for Dracula, it’s a well crafted moment, and my biggest annoyance was actually that Jonathan’s notes aren’t in shorthand. I don’t give a shit what his personal assessments of Alexula are, as we’ll likely get those when his story is published. I do care that he has journalistic integrity and knows how to properly notate for the time period.</span></div>
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/9dd0e210e088b3dc88b3d4eddf6fe98c/tumblr_mv9w4jnW1o1qcagtxo6_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/9dd0e210e088b3dc88b3d4eddf6fe98c/tumblr_mv9w4jnW1o1qcagtxo6_250.gif" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We’re back with Mina at school where she’s meeting her professor in his very dark office. She’s concerned about being able to become her prof’s research assistant after exams. She’s by far the most intelligent in class, but she sucks at hands-on surgical work because cutting people makes her squeamish. So we’ve built Mina up as incredibly bright and engaging in a professional course not afforded to 95% of women at this point in time… only to strip all that away in saying that she’s a great scholar and bookworm but when she sees blood she practically faints.** </span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Her professor tells her to suck it up and have confidence while also giving her cryptic advice about the heart never lying. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">She leaves and goes outside, being passed by her male classmates all saying goodnight as she stands around waiting for who the fuck knows. Apparently we’re not supposed to think this is odd as Alexula creeps around pillars watching her with his coat collar turned up. Yes, really. </span></span></div>
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6303d05cc8015e975b9c7ccb7784b311/tumblr_mvaal4LbEc1spqk3ho6_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6303d05cc8015e975b9c7ccb7784b311/tumblr_mvaal4LbEc1spqk3ho6_250.gif" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">She stands alone, reading a book in the dark as he stalks all around her, disappearing when she finally senses something. Then, a female (apparently a friend) comes up and murmurs something about sorry for being late and they walk off into the dark together. Another woman crosses past them, notices Alexula, and gives him flirty sex eyes. And since he can’t get his rocks off with Mina yet, it’s time for a quick fondle-bite-kill with this girl.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And now to the opera, where Alexula has donated his box for the evening to Jonathan and Mina (who is dressed like Belle for some reason). Lady Jayne hip-wags to her own box, the opera begins, and look who decided he wanted into her box after all. And look, her box is directly across from where Jonathan and Mina sit. So Alexula can sex up Lady Jane while looking longingly across the opera house at Mina. (And as gorgeous and enchanting as JRM is, the fact that we’re supposed to root for this guy to be with Mina is insulting.)</span></div>
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/1fbbc8af86063b4967b7b956b535d3bf/tumblr_mvau938XYS1qa6z6mo3_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/1fbbc8af86063b4967b7b956b535d3bf/tumblr_mvau938XYS1qa6z6mo3_250.gif" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Order lords are gossip-bitching about Alexula taking control of their dead buddies assets, though the elder one isn’t terribly concerned. Alexula stalks the younger from the rooftops when suddenly Kruger shoots him in the leg. What ensues is an insanely ridiculous semi-slow-mo fight between the two of them that predictably ends with Kruger suffering from a bad case of katana to jugular. (Yes, Dracula owns, carries, and fights with a katana.) </span></div>
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<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/093f2d929aec2dcd15f36c60d85bdf69/tumblr_mv9byrlz8S1ri8io3o6_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/093f2d929aec2dcd15f36c60d85bdf69/tumblr_mv9byrlz8S1ri8io3o6_250.gif" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexula can’t suppress the urge to speechify to him before he dies, though, promising to kill everyone in the Order.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Meanwhile, Lady Jayne twirls katanas of her own in a practice arena complete with punching bags she slices up (which is just a waste of good punching bags), and a caged female vampire. Jayne wants to know who her sire is, but the vamp won’t tell. So Jayne coos all about her known methods of torture to get vampires to talk. The vamp girl is unimpressed and there is a stalemate. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Back at Castle Carfax, Alexula tries to drink away his anger (because that always works), and into the room swans Professor Van Helsing… and this is where I downed the last ¼ bottle of wine. Basically, Dracula is on Van Helsing’s leash, and Van Helsing is the one leading and directing the crusade against the Order because they killed his family. Van Helsing is the brains, Dracula is the brawn. And my desire for vengeance against the creators of this show is almost as strong as theirs against the Order.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So what </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">did</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I like?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I like the completely fabricated character Ben Miles is playing. Partially for his cool collectedness, and partially because it’s Ben Miles.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I liked the interview scene (aside from aforementioned attention to proper journalism note taking), because even though it takes Dracula in a completely non-canonical direction for why he’s in London, it’s one that does actually make sense in context of the show.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I like most of the cast, even when I can’t stand their character (or what’s being done with their character).</span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a final note, I’m just going to keep track of how many people Dracula kills every week -- and what that total is when Mina finally, inevitably, falls for him. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Week one kill count: 3</span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">* No offence to Katie McGrath. I genuinely adore her and really hope her character gets something more to do than is indicated in this episode. But I fear she’ll fall into the same trap set up for Morgana in Merlin (beyond season 3) where she’s written into a corner and has to find her own way in an increasingly poorly written role.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #e69138; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">** If this is how you inject feminism into a character you didn’t think was feminist to begin with -- FUCK YOU. Canon Mina may hold to the strict, patriarchal ideals of her time, but she is intelligent, resourceful, brave, strong, compassionate, does not shy away from danger or blood, and is more modern than she would even think to give herself credit for. She also doesn’t fall in love with a mass murderer.</span></div>
BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-70006486918378286912013-09-23T12:11:00.000-07:002013-09-23T12:11:20.833-07:00Come out and take your medicine!Re-read <i>The Shining</i> before <i>Doctor Sleep</i> comes out, I said.<br />
You'll want the refresher, I said.<br />
Don't pay any attention to the terrifyingly accurate depictions of addiction, I said.<br />
You won't be emotionally traumatised by the concept that Danny Torrance succumbs to alcoholism as an adult despite his absolute horror of it as a child, I said.<br />
The relationship between Jack, Wendy, and Danny will not emotionally destroy you as it has the previous three times you've read this book, I said. <br />
<br />
I'm an effing moron.<br />
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BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-6184777786179335732013-09-10T07:30:00.000-07:002013-09-10T12:15:49.177-07:00Dracula Bingo!<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid--4107fec-ef1e-fd65-ba95-9bbdcfe8ae14" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><i><b>Or: Why I’m going to need gallons of alcohol in order to make it through <a href="http://nbcdracula.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">this show</a>.</b></i> </span></span></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> (And yes, I've read the book. Repeatedly. So several gripes will be of a strictly canonical nature.)</span><i><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Unchecked dramatic pauses such as: “Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you tonight… POWER!”</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Dramatic pauses of such nature are only allowed from one person.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Dracula as sexy-romantic (anti)hero.<br class="kix-line-break" />"Sometimes, the people we are meant for take us by surprise."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Lengthy tracking and/or close up shots of Dracula watching people</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Overt attempts at inserting modern feminism ideals into female characters (who will still probably fall in love with the mass murderer known as Sexy-Drac)</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Dracula as over-protective stalker douche (but I’m sexy and ily so it’s OK, right bby?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><img height="174" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/IpGc7pOTw-3n0Zficq3GXkr_I0Vu9gSP8z7FGzqpbRTlExQwG0MNSrZDogbBX3ALbBPfpB4wexQcNm1bKvJqSZcX3cp2ltyMoy_lx3fJ_Mwn0oTpagxXrEA8" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">References to immortal love of any kind (including the ‘immortality is a curse I would never bestow upon you’ spiel -- usually followed by making said beloved immortal)</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Bosoms heaving for no other reason than boobs look awesome when stuffed inside corsets</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Anytime a character comments on a new invention of the ‘modern age’</span><img height="147" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/XUvdCdps8ksqliXns2tjsovu5VOsV21tjNaMAcT9OUJyWoiT2zjqLbuK7Kfpw9plQKZYCiVTjQ4tK6TlbT_NdRcMJolWDAKwVJkt9mp_A8Lv_l8CcGLnoUFA" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dracula is talked about/portrayed as the ‘mysterious American’ (and if they don’t keep that facade for long, then being the ‘mysterious foreigner’)</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Random shots of predatory/ominous animals (yes, including bats and wolves -- if they don’t actually interact with people ever and serve a real purpose but are just there for ‘mood’)</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><img height="175" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/YAYHnh-05yjpCWeGdVtNPbBaduqo-ZGmTsrYxq1IgtMp5tB5SZ5J5iFbCHZFZ40dIN25RGz1Cotniay62QzDMdRIFz9Z3ywSteCMAxAFPXycNPrwyQtzw0-o" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Dracula described as ‘unlike anyone I’ve ever met’ or any variation thereupon</span><img height="172" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/ZXqihPcdX07zuQLhScUajr9FomChudFrH6QlmikUmmbGf180K4W1CzGH6UTbswAsSa7t8G2xo-XW64H-FeZlNXkzWQZqPbifacaGhl4NurVmFvi1NZ7MGuzP" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: small;">Heavy fog orgy</span><br /> </span><img height="178px;" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/87q3i-p01S5YMZCTES65nFsS4eFd5wbQjvFK7MQyDaZhX06u6TCwuAhKDK7vKkjPAJGG6W6RDk60N1eEqnqkYry2a95mCLZfIFME3ZoJkHhYtNTjR5o3jfbY" width="317px;" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Van Helsing being crazier/more manic than Renfield</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><img height="192" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/qdwt9HB4A9TfahrWZV_7CEYbciZ2Uio9BVY36h7m_Q7EpghU56pMCU9yIaEL8iCW4BaTt-NvlpKMjN1hgN9wJnt97AmUVhgCcnDxKTwKIfZYkov90yHxXGKb" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Complete annihilation of canonical character traits (Lucy as a sex pot)</span><img height="179" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/VtE-zhXq-_xnEPSnJqWqaApM6xMnyx6HIKVDY6dQGGo_iY_4yKTCgmz1AqL6rp1rNLcLfvQbxlogzBq21Nre43ctw0l4IkeUNLpMLAH10Dz633SzDn3zvwwr" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><img height="178" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/6khPUp_poR8y2Z7LZSRw71F3oyt65XiswbaDxy6qAbpShc4Xq6ehz5Hunz6b-6Xno-chnG9lp0H8n1l6Yoz8BDN4925FqUaUkW8RB9-hdJi5HhDyzMTb8-Gn" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><img height="133" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/CoI7S-0LMJeeoJHOGLYQJhgt0CCaqQj-il8lGfSByChis2n28m-oNYfiGbRVA5uWAQyFv2Xm_wHhJH4eMf70GnHtorhWLMFgMVRPKu2duOjuWKlHmIzEP6Bd" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: small;">Recreational drug use</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><img height="144" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/9W2tcQI22-ou2Y73rs_lwCApdDqx4NX89Sp2Go0efEp8sNytNcncB466dpnfNcQU0csBitH8SaUrmfDNCVzYNyt979WQadiWXtCPZuNxpvlbNxb5o0awRnSH" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: small;">Use of creative ‘swearing’ or ‘cursing’</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><img height="179" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/8qZ0Y7IGXKqhHOQUTn-7axjWAExtw9nUK8aFYpqo359qNWUKCq4FdcU2ql65S9wwi1AZrnThivZj6ub-gak9ZdOT4iVTR6kcfMrktg8oRg7UC2he_36o8cDa" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Ridiculous rationalizations/explanations for people dying</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><img height="179" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/wXbu7h290f6lA_I8G5ihGqaK48Ir28VOGOmPwI8YtQoE4fSzCDova2heNiq8GqE4EGn9H9YBT0UzdNCoo6PkOqBXdpueJ_eSBDW7lqKGDYKWt-TcWV7IB9Sm" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, in order to cope with this insanity, I did what any rational modern viewer would do: I made a BINGO game! Copy it. Print it. Share <strike>and drink to it</strike> with friends</span></span></div>
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BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-68385741862041482932013-09-07T20:09:00.000-07:002013-09-07T20:09:17.291-07:00Acknowledging Small Progressions...<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In hopes that I can start complimenting myself on the little victories that lead to better productivity, instead of focusing on what I <u>didn't</u> accomplish. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because on the surface, I could tell myself that I spent the majority of my day on the computer, in front of my TV, watching <i>Harry Potter</i>. Sure, that is a summation of what occurred, but damn, isn't that horribly depressing?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: xx-small;">(Yes. Yes it is.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So here's what I actually did today:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Caught up on emails and twitter before really getting out of bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Did dishes, cleaned out the fridge, wiped down the counters, made fridge-pantry-cleaning mac n cheese.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Cleaned up the living room, took out the trash & recycling, got and sorted/read the mail from the week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Arranged to have dinner with my former roomie later this week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Arranged to go see a kickass movie with a new friend tomorrow afternoon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Spent time planning blog posts for the book series, put in a bit of twitter and tumblr time on the series' social media.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Responded to 10 inquiries on the writing advice site I work as an administrator on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Joined 8tracks -- will explore more later, but at least I have the music from <i>Hannibal</i> playlist saved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Caught up on <i>Under the Dome</i> (Barbie, NOOOOOO!) and <i>Graceland</i> (between that and the series finale of Burn Notice, Thursday is going to be a very intense evening).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Went to the grocery store for essentials and gas money.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So yeah, I think I actually won the day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-88342758774718525062013-09-06T13:28:00.000-07:002013-09-06T13:28:43.038-07:00The Fox Says: I WILL STEAL YOUR SANITY<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to a Friday afternoon in this office, courtesy of this video and Twitter:</span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/jofNR_WkoCE/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/jofNR_WkoCE&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/jofNR_WkoCE&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 1: So, I've been thinking a lot about this Syrian crisis
and...crap...hold on... WHAT THE FOX SAY!!!! RING-DING-DING-DINGERINGEDING!!! <s>#</s><b>ylvis</b></span></span></div>
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</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 1:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"COW GOES 'MOO'...FISH GO 'BLUB'...SEAL GOES 'OW OW OW
OW'... Kill me!!! Fuckin' kill me!!! <s>#</s><b>ylvis</b></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://twitter.com/ItsJoeRoche"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></a></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 1:</span> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">WA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-POW!!!! I...still have strength....to grab
this letter opener....stick it in my....fucking jugular.... <s>#</s><b>ylvis</b></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 1:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">HATEE-HATEE-HATEE-HO.......letter opener....too
dull....will.....throw body onto..... letter opener....to pierce sternum...must
kill myself</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 2:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">WHAT
DOES THE FOX SAY?! Thank you, <s>#</s><b>Ylvis</b>,
thank you.
<s>#</s><b>myjam</b>
<s>#</s><b>wapapapapapapow</b></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 1 to </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 2:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
........must.....get hammer.....smash it....into skull....Please......kill
me.....</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 2 to </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Coworker 1</span>:</span> shhh shh shh shh, no tears, just
sleep.</span></span></div>
BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-28378488682476298152013-09-05T10:11:00.000-07:002013-09-05T10:11:55.458-07:00I'm am returning...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/556c6e1cfe21481c740c500145cd6cc3/tumblr_mjzeezkdt31ryjwzno1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/556c6e1cfe21481c740c500145cd6cc3/tumblr_mjzeezkdt31ryjwzno1_500.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I know... it's been a long time. I wish I could say many important, cool, exciting, and/or life-altering things have occurred in my absence, but that would be an utter lie.<br />
However, in the next few weeks I plan to resurrect this blog as a place to air some creative/life grievances and offer some opinions and silliness and fangirling and ranting over the upcoming fall season of new (and returning shows.<br />
<br />
First up: Dracula Bingo! (Or, Why I'm Going to Need Gallons of Alcohol to Survive This Show)<br />
Coming really, really soon...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/34400000/Dracula-dracula-nbc-34467104-245-138.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/34400000/Dracula-dracula-nbc-34467104-245-138.gif" /></a></div>
<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-24729354429541814452013-02-07T14:48:00.001-08:002013-02-07T14:50:23.238-08:00Thursdays: AKA The Uncle Willie Day of the WeekFor those unfamiliar with the concept of an 'Uncle Willie Day': In <i>The Philadelphia Story</i>, boozehound womanizer Uncle Willie wakes with a major sleep-deprived hangover and after several assaults by the farcical goings on utters, "<span class="st">This is one of those days which the pages of history teach us are best spent lying in bed."</span><br />
<br />
<span class="st">I won't go into detail about all the crap leading up to the forthcoming rant, but suffice it to say the universe has been sorely testing the bounds of my patience and sanity today. Moreso than a typical shittastic Thursday. All I wanted was to escape the insanity for a bit and use the last $5 I have until payday to get a tasty sandwich (and then they were out of the usual bread and I had to get a different sandwich...). That's all I wanted. And then...</span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<span class="st">Open Letter to the Guy Who Has Apparently Never Seen Breasts Before:</span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<span class="st">Dear Sir,</span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<span class="st"> While I appreciate the fact that sometimes the wonders of nature appear to us at the least expected times, it is important to remember that people are not beautiful flowers. Your awe at seeing a wondrous sight such as my (fairly-concealed) cleavage is understandable. However, your open mouth and eyes glued to that one section of my body for the entire duration of our interaction is none of the following: flattering, gentlemanly, proper, polite, enticing, sexy, unique, justified, excusable, desirable or acceptable. Your inability to remove your Tex Avery-style bugged out eyes from my breasts while you perform the simple task of handing me my food and saying, "Have a great day," elicits in me only one desire: to punch you in your cock.</span><br />
<span class="st"> If it had been a glance and a smile, I might have been flattered. I might also have been a bit creeped out, but I wouldn't have this lingering feeling, hours later, that when I stood up as you called my number and your eyes were drawn to one area of my anatomy and never left that this one insignificant body part is all you see. That it may be all ANYONE sees. Believe it or not, I've put up with that type of lingering stare which fails to acknowledge that my form is comprised of anything except breasts since I was twelve. Your behaviour is not new to me. That doesn't make it acceptable, and the repeated experience of it over time does not dull the tumultuous emotions stirred by being seen as a walking pair of tits. </span><br />
<span class="st"> We don't know each other. It's not like you're a man I've known for a time who has won a bit of my trust and is allowed to make the occasional boob joke. I have a great rack. I'm not actually shy about it, because it is a nice asset. I wear corsets and tanks and much more revealing shirts than this one, not to garner attention but because they make me look and feel good. Let me repeat: it makes ME feel good. A glance here or there from a stranger isn't terribly untoward. It's the complete disregard for ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT ME which makes me concerned for your education about human anatomy and basic manners.</span><br />
<span class="st"> We are unlikely to ever meet again, and in this particular instance though you were a good looking young fellow who probably has several positive attributes, our interactions today leave me with a sick feeling and the intense desire to inflict violence other human beings. Why? Because you are a dick-leading, manner-less, ogling douchenozzle with no regard for another person's humanity beyond one physical characteristic. Eat shit, scumbag.</span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<span class="st">Sincerely, <br />Me</span>BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-27284065138336894682013-02-04T14:44:00.000-08:002013-02-04T14:44:33.293-08:00(Working Through) DiscouragementThis marks my 150th post... wowsers. I feel like I should have written so much more.<br />
One of the perils of the internet age: oversaturation.<br />
I have a facebook, a twitter, two tumblrs, no less than three emails, google +, livejournal, linked in, this... it becomes difficult to digest all the incoming social data, much less find a way to maintain your own presence across multiple platforms for multiple purposes.<br />
Yet I made a goal this year to write more often here, at least once every three weeks, and I would like to hold to that.<br />
<br />
So it's a new year. January already gone. I find myself with goals, but little focus. Hopes, but little direction. Even typing this up feels off -- as though there's a switch that's been disconnected which usually forms the pathway from thought to word, deed, or action.<br />
It's not an unfamiliar feeling, and occurs both with reason and without, but it is one that gives me cause for concern.<br />
<br />
Therefore, here's brief list of things i have accomplished so far this year and/or am grateful for:<br />
<br />
Updating resumes<br />
Making segmented lists of goals<br />
Talking with people about said goals<br />
Unabashedly working on writings which may not net me anything besides experience, but give me pleasure to create<br />
Finding more free / uber-cheap activities to attend in Los Angeles<br />
Getting more creative with food<br />
Ripper Street<br />
Figure skating<br />
Good friends, both near and far<br />
Tea<br />
<br />
In the coming weeks, I am determined to make more progressive strides and already have some very specific appointments made with the express purpose of doing so. Yet still, I am realistic in my thoughts that these feelings of discouragement and confusion will not easily be pushed aside. They need to be worked through, dealt with, and nurtured with better emotions and experiences.\<br />
<br />
Hopefully everyone else's year is getting off to a better start than mine, but if not we can take solace in not being alone, and perhaps promise each other to work through the poorer times toward the better ones.<br />
<br />BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8986324021696326634.post-10472801956012218242012-12-30T08:39:00.001-08:002012-12-30T08:39:25.770-08:00So here we are — the end of 2012. Whirlwind is a very applicable word for the last couple months, and yet now that there’s a few moments to breathe one looks back and tends to feel assaulted by all that has been left unaccomplished.
Still, today is not the day for resolutions, nor for looking back in frustration. Today is Accomplishment Day.<br />
<br />
So here’s to the things I did this year, including:<br />
- Finishing edits on book one, and submitting it to a major publisher — which includes doing our first summary, bios, and query letter<br />
- Spending November through now working on an individual project for the first NaNoWriMo in four years<br />
- Plotting out a schedule for blog posts and editing markers and actually (more or less) sticking to it<br />
- Creating an online presence for the series with email, tumblr, twitter, and blog<br />
- Making progress on screenplay #2 to the point where it is neeeeearly first drafted<br />
- Accomplishing a number of personal goals (though far from all) and thoroughly enjoying each one, not just seeing it as something I <i>have</i> to do.<br />
<br />
It may seem a short list, but it’s one chock full of months and months of hard work, email and chat conversations, and the constant necessity of balancing real life and writing life. All in all this has been a successful, progressive year for us and hopefully 2013 will push me on to bigger and better accomplishments.<br />
<br />
Happy (Inaccurate Mayan Calculation) End of the World Year, everyone.BreeThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01525980778396970892noreply@blogger.com0