I have a thing for forbidden men...

William Howley, Archbishop of Canterbury

This bust is on display at the Huntington Gallery in San Marino, CA. It’s in a room with some of Gainsborough’s most popular paintings and some other stunning works of portraiture and marble busts. Yet every time I go, I cannot help but marvel at this one… because this is one damn fine looking clergyman.

MoffTissIan

I'm proclaiming it, right now. (Links will contain major spoilers...)

The only thing which currently gets my brain a-buzzing, my pulse a-racing, my geek heart a-pitter-pattering as much as the ASoIaF series, is Sherlock.
While I understand that for the quality of the series to remain so spectacularly high they can only produce three per season, IT'S NOT ENOUGH. Just like waiting for The Winds of Winter (or, T-Wow, as my geek friends and I like to call it), waiting for whatever will follow "The Reichenbach Fall" is equal parts excruciating and exciting, both mentally and emotionally.
Thankfully, the interwebs indulge my addiction, while constantly proving to me that there are other fans out there just as invested. Even more so.

While following up on every theory and explosion of fandom awesome regarding these series may not equate to the best use of time which could be spent being 'productive,' it does get those synapses firing in a way nothing else does.

It's certainly better than spending my days following celeb news on TMZ and Perez Hilton...




#believeinsherlock

Poots-a-rific!

This is not a post referencing bodily functions... unless, like in my world, geeking out is considered a natural physical reaction to something awesome.
Or, as deemed yesterday, Poots!ing.
The reference relates to the very pretty and talented Imogen Poots and her presence in the upcoming Fright Night movie. One of my male friends needed some reason to have the same swoony, geek out feelings toward the film as I do... and I offered him Imogen Poots. Not only was this acceptable, but this fine young woman's name is now interchangeable as a verb (as in: I'd totally Poots that!) and an exclamation of awesome (see title).

Fun times with Poots!ing aside, one may ponder why this movie excites me so... well, sit a spell and I'll tell ya, Sal. (Not sure where that came from. I'm going to blame the Bonanza concrete truck spied this morning on the commute to work -- a red and yellow cement spinner with cowboy hats painted on it. It inspired a conversation of treating cement mixer trucks like cattle on the prairie and bucking broncos; we all must do something to stay awake before our morning caffeine fix.)

A full rundown/review of the movie will post on Friday after basking in the glow of the Thursday night screening, however, in anticipation of the release I feel it my duty to express why I am more excited for this movie than just about any film this year.

1. It's a real vampire movie -- with real vampires vampiring. None of this wussy Cullen sparkly mopey Anne Rice crap. Alternately, none of this utter predatory, near-wholly animalistic creatures with more resemblance to Gollum than to human. One of the previews contains a perfect assessment of what Jerry is, and what vampires were created to be: he's not brooding, or love sick. He's the shark from Jaws. That assessment alone excites me.

2. As I duck objects being hurtled at me, the original Fright Night isn't all that. It's fun. It's got some great moments. The cast is good. The writing's solid. However, if you're going to remake an 80s horror movie, this is one that, in the right hands, could use some TLC -- especially in our current climate of aforementioned lack of 'real' vampires in vampire movies. Put it this way: the original is good, but it's not The Lost Boys. And if anyone goes after that (again), I may have an aneurysm.

3. The cast. One of the aspects that first excited me about this film is the cast. All solid actors: and only one of them American. It does amuse me that a story about a suburban kid in suburban America fills itself with a wordly cast.

4. Marti Noxon. One of my favorite BtVS writers, who already in the previews has given a couple nods to Buffy-isms in the crafting of the script. Mostly in Peter Vincent's lines.

5. Peter Vincent. OK, the Vegas magician thing may seem like a Hollywood ploy to get more business into Vegas. Or just some cheap gimmick. And yet... we don't have the late night horror fests on telly anymore, especially ones hosted by has-been horror actors. We don't really have anything similar to it on TV, unless you count nostalgia clip shows which don't usually have hosts, only a series of semi-has-beens talking about said items in the clipfest. We do, however, have Vegas: the place where good, decent, and terrible-yet-popular acts go to die a long and slow death, possibly over the course of years. And let's face it, Celine Dion isn't likely to have great knowledge of the undead, and those Cirque people may be able to kick some ass but their mind-bending acrobatics are almost as creepy as a guy who wants to seduce you just so he can murder you via exsanguination before the morning. Magicians, though... those are the kind of buggers you can see having a dark past and perhaps just a little too much insight into the realm of the paranormal -- at least as much as any washed-up horror movie actor. I mean, any guy who drinks Midori straight is either a nineteen year old girl, or has some serious early adult life issues he's working through...
And, yeah, OK... it's David "My Doctor" Tennant. I would be going for this fact alone, but thankfully every article I've read and preview or interview I've seen has given me plentiful reasons for wanting to see this movie besides Shirtless!Doctor in 3D.

Happy Lightsaber Day!

In honor of the 40th birthday of one of my first, and deepest, celebrity crushes (and a man who would have made the original PFH list were he not already married when he became even semi-famous), I give you:

Forty Reasons I Love Ewan McGregor
(some of these are purely physical – like anyone would make my list of Potential Future Husbands without being delectably attractive)

40. Save a horse, ride a biker – a biker who traverses the globe with his best friend. Repeatedly.

39. He makes this beard actually work

38. Taking up the family business – though warned against it, followed after his uncle Dennis in taking up acting for his career

37. Familial Star Wars ties FTW – Wedge Antilles, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi… oh, wait…

36. His lightsaber – anyone who wields one of these bad boys earns extra points in Hotness (yes, even Christopher Lee)

35. That smile – GUH. *faints*

34. Cool former roomies – When I get access to a TARDIS, I’m totally going back to the days when Ewan, Jude Law and Jonny Lee Miller used to bang around together.

33. He’s crawled into and out of a toilet – now that’s flexibility…

32. His feet.

31. He’s not afraid to wear eyeliner – and looks damn good in it.

30. His adorably flawed southern accent in Big Fish.

29. Big Fish – possibly Burton’s best film, and one sans Johnny Depp, and who does it star…

28. Scottish, without the unintelligible brogue = hot

27. Looks great in a kilt = hotter

26. Honey and glitter and leather, oh my!

25. Has one of the most heartrending and exciting episodes of ER to his credit.

24. Those eyes…

23. Can be forgiven for The Island because (spoiler) there are scenes with two Ewans at once.

22. Has perfect pitch and ain’t afraid to break it out.

21. Devoted family man. Now that is hot.

20. When I get around to crafting the Gay Nudist Musical, he will be the first one I call.

19. Made time with Christian Bale and Jonathan Rhys Meyers… in the same movie.

18. Has played a gay/bi man so many times I lost count = secure in his sexuality AND non-judgmental about others’

17. Looks good even with a rattail.

16. Priest garb = forbidden hotness

15. He’s what makes Moulin Rouge believable, emotional, and painful. Without him it’s just a story about a singing slut who’s dying but will whore herself out one last time to save her theatre.

14. Did I mention the motorcycle?

13. Animated films: check. (Robots, Valiant, etc)

12. Tortured author: check. (James Joyce)

11. Rogue Austen Man: check (Emma)

10. Jedi: checkmate.

9. Stunning profile.

8. Protective of his family and insistent on his kids living outside the spotlight.

7. I love so much of his work (and him), I can usually forget I ever saw Eye of the Beholder. In the theatre.

6. Down With Love: innuendo can be just as hot as full-frontal.

5. His ‘lightsaber’ – you knew it was coming.

4. Humanitarian = hot

3. His laugh… especially his giggle.

2. Coolness under pressure – the man played guitar and sang surrounded by European maifa psychos with guns. That takes a healthy dose of…

1. Fearlessness. Whether it’s riding motorcycles around the world or baring all for the camera, the man knows his limits but is never afraid to test them.

Sense & Sensuality

After having not really paid attention to it when it initially aired, I again caught the ‘recent’ mini-series of Sense & Sensibility on PBS.*
I admit to not giving it the attention it deserved before, mostly due to time constraints during my initial viewing. Also, much as I loved David Morrissey even then, this has never been my favorite Austen tale. However, I decided to give it a worthy go again and found I enjoyed it more -- not only more than I anticipated, but actually more than I wanted to, and for this I blame the excellent cast.
It still ranks as not my favorite work (Pride & Prejudice is the apex and I hold a soft spot for Mansfield Park), but I understand it better than I did previously in terms of how Jane uses her parlour drama skills to expose issues of the human heart in a manner I don’t think ever really comes across as well in some of her other works. Of course in this particular instance I attribute the BBC and its solid reputation in adaptation, along with a stellar cast, in breathing life into this story in a manner that makes it seem less Romantic than Ang Lee’s film.
Plus, any film that puts David Morrissey on a horse with beautiful riding clothes AND has him sword fighting pretty much makes my day.


*BTW, US Government, WTF is wrong with you? Cutting funding for education and the arts… because what we want is a society that can’t read or think for themselves and just listens to what the overlords in charge tell them to thi—oh, hey…

Days of Green and Red

No, I’m not talking about the Christmas holidays. I’m talking about two major dates for an Irish Anglophile: St. Patrick’s Day and Red Nose Day.
Since I had the migraine from hell most of the week (it’s my body’s way of reminding me who’s in charge and why I should take care of it, the fucker), I wasn’t quite in the full Go Green spirit for St. Patrick’s Day. However, it was going to take more than crushing pain with a side of nausea to keep me from having a good time. I spent the evening with some of the most awesome co-worker/friend/theatre peeps in the world. After a little pre-gaming at my place (complete with my iPod playing a goodly amount of my traditional [read: beautiful yet depressing] Irish tunes, we all jammed ourselves into a tiny Toyota and drove a mere six blocks to a local Irish pub. Though they’d added a tent out back to make up for the teensy-ness of the place, the holiday + lack of cover charge = actual line outside the bar. A five minute wait time became fifteen with only two of the five people in front of us being let in, so we skipped our way down another two blocks to a favored watering hole where the $5 cover which previously hindered our desire to go there quickly turned into a blessing as we were able to obtain a table, down some car bombs, get some grub, watch some great Irish dancers and cut a few jigs ourselves. All in all a very good night, with everyone satisfactorily tipsy and on the way home by 10pm.
Red Nose Day is reason #7,862 on the list of Why I Live in the Wrong Country. It’s also very high on the list of programming I wish BBCAmerica would offer in the states. It may be a Brit-run fundraiser, but who says giving money to Africa through England is in any way less needed than giving it through the US? The Brits actually care enough to have a marathon (plus weeks of pre-shows) of original programming built solely around the purpose of raising funds for charity. Remember how the US had Comic Relief? Only available on premium channels and mostly live sketches by comics for one evening? Yeah, the Brits do it so much better (as per usual). There’s dance and song competitions leading to the big day, there’s fundraising via web, TV, twitter, etc. There’s a long telethon hosted by great celebs, and a slew of original skits produced just for the event – including new Doctor Who and a brilliant parody of Downton Abbey (it's hard not to crack up at Simon Callow as Julian Fellows). Sure, you can download some of these gems on iTunes or look them up on YouTube, but it's not the same.
I’m not sure how to go about it, but I really want to put a bug up someone’s butt in the upper management world of BBCA to get them to broadcast Red Nose Day, and Pudsey Day, in the US. I’d be happy to cough up a few quid to aid Africa if it means I get to see wacky Who and Merlin skits and seen Davina McCall, with her enigmatic bottom, macking on gay AND straight blokes…

Got a little Lycan in you? Would you like some?

While doing some cleaning and organizing this weekend (both mental and physical), I happened to spend a ridiculous amount of time with the telly on in the background, flipping between Indiana Jones trilogy (There are only three. Just three. Do you hear me? Only three movies exist!), and the Underworld trilogy.
Now, much as people might react with surprise and dismay, I am not really on the Underworld fan-wagon. Why not? Well, a) not a fan of Kate Beckinsale. She just does nothing for me. B) For being movies crammed with cool action sequences filled with almost as much gore-splatter as a Tarantino flick, they move at a snail’s pace. Every time I watch one I feel like six hours of my life have gone by; I don’t know what it is but the pacing on those films is so awkward. C) Vampires vs. werewolves stories need to have something really compelling for me to engage in them (like Taylor Lautner with his shirt off, or Ian Somerhalder being the NewSpike, or Seth Green as a tiny-man-by-day-wolf-badass-every-full-moon kind of guy, or Ian Somerhalder with his shirt off… you know, deeply compelling stuff). Actually Underworld has a rather compelling take on the whole vampires vs. werewolves mythos, it’s just buried under horrid pacing, electric blue contacts, and Kate Beckinsale’s dripping wet latex suit. So why did I spend a not-insignificant portion of my weekend with this train wreck of a series in the background of my life? Simple: Michael Sheen.
Don’t get me wrong, the Brit actors in these movies kick a ton of ass: Tony Curran, Derek Jacobi, and Bill “I’d watch him read the phonebook” Nighy, but they all behave pretty much as one might expect them to behave in this kind of genre. Waltz on, Michael Sheen, and it’s goodbye Tony Blair, hello tortured badass Lucian. The first Underworld features Suave Badass, except for the brief scene where he tells Michael about the start of the war and his forbidden love affair with Viktor’s daughter. I just spoilered you for the whole series -- Whoops :P That one sequence earns him the cred to have his own movie where he gets to Maximus Decimus Meridius his way through the whole movie, except Michael Sheen’s such a badass that he lives through it all, damaged though he may be, to carry on another seven hundred years (just spoiled Gladiator, too. Don’t think I missed that). Also, unlike many of his lycan comrades (and nowadays seemingly EVERY vampire), Lucian never gets whiny about his situation. His life blows massive food-poisoning-from-KFC sized chunks, but he deals with it. He takes one look at his lover’s dumbfuck daddy and says, “All right, old man, you want to have at me for centuries for loving your daughter? Bring it. ‘Cause Im’ma throwdown with a vengeance you think only you possess… and then I’m going to even the score and blend the races like I did with your babygirl, just to piss you off.”
Now, I admit to my affinity for tall, lanky, (generally) pale English blokes, but I don’t typically go in for Michael Sheen. Yet you lather that man up in movie sweat, give him some longer-and-dirtier-than-Strider hair, tan & buff him up a bit and turn him into a badass Lycanthrope and I will watch the slow-moving hours tick by content with my British werewolf hunk keeping me company.

I am The Doctor

This week, in the midst of work hell, a cold that will not die, and life just doing its best to kick my ass down in despair, I thank the maker for bestowing upon me musical goodness in the form of the two most recent Doctor Who soundtracks.
For those who think television scores do not equal their filmic counterparts, I urge you to listen to Christophe Beck's music from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (series 1-5) (and pretty much any composer who worked on a Joss Whedon series), or the music for Merlin the series, or Trevor Morris' first season music for The Tudors, or the compositions for Torchwood, but most of all I would refer you to Murray Gold's scores for all five(presently) series of Doctor Who. Each series has its own feel and tone to fit the season, and yet each one builds upon the last. The two most recent soundtracks reflect the final specials with David Tennant's tenth Doctor and the recent series with Matt Smith as Doctor the eleventh.

The two-disc specials soundtrack covers less episodic territory than previous albums, but more of the scope of each episode. The music follows each special in theme and style: the first two being mostly light and adventurous with a touch of sadness, the third much darker and chaotic, and the final two specials (on their own disc) culminating four years of this Doctor's life in an epic, exciting, painful, heartbreaking ride.
Also, anyone who has seen the end of "The End of Time" and does not need to fight the urge to sob at hearing Vale Decem has cobwebs where their soul should be.
Yet the Doctor moves on, as he always must, and following the regeneration the album concludes with starting music for the eleventh Doctor and the journey begins again.

As a new Doctor, with a new companion, the entire thematic composition of the music has changed and yet is still completely relatable to the show overall and fits magically and uniquely with this new series and its Doctor. The new Doctor is more excitable, quirkier, spastic and madder than his predecessor and the music reflects this; yet he still holds perhaps the greatest mind, the fearlessness and the might of a timelord. There's also a new sense of whimsy and mystery which he projects for his new companion, and his themes reflect this. Amy Pond's theme and style capture not only her alpha female attitude and youthful energy but the magic we see in here eyes as she discovers the universe in terms of traveling with the mad man with a box.

While this is all one giant love letter to Murray Gold, I do have to conclude by saying that of the two compilations, it's the series 5 soundtrack which makes my heart swell, the tears well and imagination thrive. Still, you can't really go wrong with any collection of tunes from the new Whoniverse.

New World, yes... but better?

With the broadcast announcement of Torchwood: The New World today, it occurs to me I've never really shared thoughts on post-Children-of-Earth Torchwood.

Do I want more Torchwood? Yes.
Am I excited for new Torchwood? Yes.
Am I glad that Russell is head of production and Barrowman and Eve are still in it? Absolutely.
Am I psyched for new, 'hip,' Americanizing of the show? Ehhhh...

See, the problem with American shows is, well, they're American. The fact that the show is a co-production between the BBC and Starz gives me hope to be sure, seeing as how you cannot put a show like Torchwood on NBC and expect it to have the kind of life it had on BBC. Never going to happen because our major networks, and even regular cable networks, are far too conservative. Also, major networks have a completely different set of standards than the BBC because we're still puritanical infants who are only allowed certain flashes of life in our TV viewing lest we all become degraded, sexual beasts... and yet we have shows like The Real Housewives of Shut Your Whining Gobs You Spoiled Bitches and I'm a Meth Addict, Get Me Out of This Hoarders' Intervention.
So that's my rant on American TV, and why I fear shifting Torchwood to our shores.

Am I excited for new cast members? Ehhhh....

One of the greatest strengths and greatest flaws of the Torchwood world is that in its brutality, hardly anyone lives very long. We have the benefit of one character who will not completely die (not on this show anyway... unless we go all wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey to the extreme, we already know what happens to the dear Captain in the end), and the likelihood of Gwen being offed anytime soon is highly unlikely, but otherwise every major character on the show has been axed already. Do I really want to start over with new, primarily American, characters and either grow to love them only to see them killed, or hate them from the beginning and count the days until they get blown up or shot? I don't know. Again, not to rag on yank actors, but having 'replacement' Tosh, Owen and Ianto does not sit well with me, especially when they're not Brits.
I guess it comes down to liking my British TV to stay British... which is probably why I'm less than enthused about Shameless.

And really... I'm just not over Ianto yet. At. All.

Everywhere Mom

Know what's more terrifying than a demon trying to destroy your house and family? Anne Marie-Duff as John Lennon's incest-leaning mother.

Don't get me wrong, overall Nowhere Boy is a good flick with solid acting, great tunes, minus a lot of the idolizing and romanticising us Yanks tend to infuse our biopics with. All the young actors do well, especially the kid playing Lennon and Thomas Sangster (who's now added 'Brodie' to his screen titles, which I don't get) as Paul. Both Kristin Scott-Thomas and David Morrissey fulfill their roles with proper 'don't hog the spotlight' performances. Yet Anne Marie-Duff... I mean, yeah she's a bit of a cougar in real life, though who wouldn't be if you get to be married to this man:

but the incestuous overtones added to her portrayal of Lennon's mother gives all new meaning to the term 'creepifying.'


See? Even young Johnny looks creeped out by her...

Dollop-headed clotpole

“Come on, dollop head. I need you to recover. Listen to me, clotpole. I don’t care if you die. There are plenty of other princes. You’re not the only pompous, supercilious, condescending, royal… imbecile I could work for; the world is full of them. But I am going to give you one more chance.”

Me? Obsessed with a BBC show starring a lanky, pale Irish boy with sculpted facial features and piercing blue eyes? A show that takes all Arthurian legends and says, "to hell with them, we're going to have fun... occasionally homo-erotic fun, but in a family-friendly way..." and doesn't care what die-hard Arthurian critics say? A show that was designed for the non-snobs? Ha! How could I ever love such a show?
Yeah. I do. Oh-so-ever-loving much. What makes Merlin work for me is the dynamic between the characters. I don't care what color anyone's skin is, or what varying accent they carry, or that there's more sexual tension between Merlin and Arthur than any other characters -- I care that those dynamics work. As the show progresses, the cast and crew continue to work harder and harder at developing these characters even while dealing with ridiculous scenarios and written-into-a-corner plot devices.
What sells the show more than anything is Colin Morgan as Merlin. When he's silly it's adorable. When he's getting abused it's entertaining. When emotions get real, he brings the level of the entire show up with just a flicker of his eyes. He's got magic inside him to be sure -- the magic of performance. I hope someday there's a film or series written for two Irish brothers with Colin Morgan and Jonathan Rhys Meyers... of course then I'd have to watch every episode at least three times. Once for Colin, once for JRM and once for both of them... and maybe once more for actual plot.
Point is, as cheesy as a show like Merlin can be, it's also proof that solid acting and passionate creativity aren't limited to art-house pictures or series on AMC. Not every series needs to be a hard-hitting drama or high-concept comedy or time-jumping, fast-edited action-adventure.
Plus, there's the occasional very fun word thrown into dialogue. Like clotpole. Or dollop head. Or besotted. Or idiomatic...

Thank. You. Heavens.

http://uk.movies.ign.com/articles/110/1104063p1.html

According to IGN, which I respect as a source for information, especially on Sci-Fi related film/tv news, the whole Johnny Depp as the Doctor rumour is made of false.
The heavens have no idea how elated this makes me. I love Johnny, and I love the Doctor (duh), but Johnny as the Doctor is much bad. Do not want. Ever.
For one, the Doctor and the entire Whoniverse is so completely British that to have someone not from the UK play the Doctor would be a juvenile, ridiculous mistake. On top of that, much as I love Johnny and talented as he is, there's a quality beyond Britishness he doesn't possess which renders him incapable of portraying the Doctor. There's a combination of emotions and layers that Johnny does very well individually but as a composite I don't think he can pull off.
Oh yeah, and the most obvious point: WE ALREADY HAVE A DOCTOR. If you're going to make a film of Doctor Who, pick one of the most recent Doctors, each of whom is different and remarkable in his own way. Honestly, I think Tennant is the most 'bankable,' but Smith's quirkiness would surpass even what Depp could do with the role. I think that's my biggest issue with the idea -- a Depp Doctor would be a very quirky Doctor and the current Doctor excels at it and needs no replacing.
Plus, how do you account for Depp's Doctor in the line of regeneration? I don't want to lose the 12th Doctor to movies because some Hollywood yahoos think there's money to be made.
Doctor Who is a fairy tale and fairy tales have a lot to say about acting solely for the purpose of making money -- there's no reason to make a movie at all right now, much less one with Depp, other than to try and capitalize on a show that needs nothing to add to it beyond what already exists (which is my sly way of saying I love the audiobooks).