"I am at a loss to conceive how a man should permit himself to write anything that would be truly disgraceful to a woman, or why a woman should be censured for writing anything that would be proper and becoming for a man."

13 December 2010

"When I figure out what that means I'll come up with a crushing reply."

If I could only work my head around and/or through some Serious Life Thoughts, I might be able to regain a sense of my Writer's Voice and Purpose. Right now I'm swimming in a sea of emotional and mental fog of my own, combined with my sympathetic tendencies entangling me in the turmoil of others, some of whom I can help but am not allowed to for various reasons, and others of whom I just cannot.
These past several weeks have once again shown me all the downsides of being a semi-social, impeccably internal, deeply sympathetic over-thinker. It's the over thinking aspect which kills the ability to write. Everything else could, feasibly, be a trigger for writing, something to spur me on or provide inspiration. Instead, all these swirling thoughts cause me to be mired in an eternal battle inside my head where I go over detail after detail, concept after concept and arrive at less of a conclusion than I began with -- it's like living in between the foggy words of Heart of Darkness in my head.
Not nearly as appealing as it may sound to writers and bibliophiles...

1 comment:

  1. write it OUT my writing friend. write it out and leave a hole big enough to let the darkness ooze out, too!


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